Are you the type of parent who constantly worries about all the potential dangers lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump out at your children? Several studies done over the last decade indicate that parents are exceptionally prone to overprotective behaviour; more so than in any other western nation.

Avoiding over protectiveness is a matter of understanding two things: natural childhood tendencies and statistical realities. In the case of the former, children have boundless energy and a level of naiveté that leads them to do things adults consider unsafe. This is how they explore the world and learn new things. Parents need to understand this and relax.

As an example, climbing trees is both great fun and a real learning experience. Yes, it’s true that your child could fall and break and arm. So what? A broken arm isn’t the end of life, and if he does so he will have learned a valuable lesson in being careful. He will have also gained the skill of climbing and the knowledge of what it’s like to be up high. Being a parent myself, I can understand that it’s easier said than done, but that’s no excuse for not making the effort.

As for statistical realities, did you know that it’s statistically safe for a child to do many things which make us nervous? For example, your ten year-old is at greater risk of injury or death riding with you in the car than he is walking with a group of friends to the river on a Saturday. Parents who don’t grasp this reality are in danger of always acting based on what might happen as opposed to what is most likely to happen. This is what produces overprotective parenting.

Parents, know that a child’s body is incredibly resilient. Also understand that the world is a safer place than we often perceive it to be. Don’t let fear of injury or illness interfere with a child being a child.

Deciding to home school your children can be a great decision, but you should be warned from the beginning that this is no easy option. If you do decide that homeschooling is something you would like to try then be prepared for a lot of work and huge demands on your time. If you are not certain that you can make such a commitment you would probably be best forgetting all about it. If you are certain though, this will be a rewarding experience for both you and your children.

Here we will now look at homeschooling and its benefits.

• Homeschooling insures that your children get the attention they need. A teacher will have many demands on their time, and some kids will demand more time than others. It is often not the children who really need the attention who get it; as the saying goes, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. With homeschooling you can be sure that your kids are the central focus.
• When children attend school they have to fit in with what classroom; this often means that they are bored out of their minds or completely lost. With homeschooling you can fit the curriculum completely around your child’s needs.
• With homeschooling education stops being something that is done between nine and four Monday to Friday. Learning just becomes part of life and everything can be a useful lesson. This is a great attitude for any child to take into the world.
• Providing homeschooling really demonstrates to them how much you value them. Some parents seem to see school as a type of babysitting service, and don’t show too much interest in what happens there. With homeschooling you are showing your children how much you value their education and consequently how much you value them – this can be a great boost to their self-confidence and self-worth.
• With homeschooling you can control the curriculum to some extent. You may have values or beliefs that would not be respected enough in a traditional school system and homeschooling means that you can remedy this situation.
• You can also ensure that your children are following the most effective syllabus and use the most up-to-date books.

Above are just some of the reasons why you might want to choose homeschooling for your children. Just remember thought that along with homeschooling and its benefits there are also some disadvantages as well.

Every day I hear the same whining song: ‘Emma has one, so why can’t I?’ ‘Olivia got one when she was seven’; ‘Chloe’s mum says she needs it to make sure Chloe is okay after school.’ Yes, of course, we’re talking about cell phones and the right age for kids to start owning them. With all the marketing campaigns directly targeting youngsters these days, it’s hardly surprising that our eight year olds feel they are missing out on life if they don’t own their own cell phone.

I can sympathise with Chloe’s mum, but I can’t see the need for a properly supervised eight or even ten year old to have her own cell phone. But I can also sympathise with my daughter and understand the peer pressure to which she is being exposed. Peer pressure is the most lethal weapon in the lives of our youngsters and it’s up to us, as parents, to diffuse their power and help our kids to recognise what it is and how it works.

This is what we did to diffuse the situation. I’m not saying it’s perfect, but I certainly think it’s worth giving it a try, because it worked for us:

• The first thing we did was to sit down and talk about why Katy thought she needed a cell phone. We made no value judgements; just let her talk while we listened.
• As we expected, Katy didn’t have any really valid reasons, but we made notes and then repeated her points back to her. It was a matter-of-fact and quite adult conversation. We didn’t judge or belittle her points, just reiterated them so that she could hear them again objectively.
• Between us, we drew up a simple chart of reasons for and against owning a cell phone, again keeping the tone neutral and objective. We ended up with about five points under each heading which gave the chart a nice, visual balance.
• We then worked through the points on the chart, systematically discussing them and wiping the ones that didn’t hold up to closer scrutiny.

In the end it was Katy who decided she really didn’t need a cell phone just yet. She settled for a sleep-over party for her best friends and an agreement to re-open discussions about cell phones in two years’ time.

We get used to our parents, or even ourselves being absent-minded. We put it down to age, preoccupation with more important matters or simply having too much to do. But when our kids start showing signs of being absent-minded, we start to get frustrated with them and think they are doing it on purpose. In fact we turn into the nasty duchess from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ who claimed:

“He only does it to annoy”

“Because he knows it teases”

Forgetfulness is not just a condition that afflicts seniors. Once children start school and their lives become crowded with school issues and rules, homework and friends, they just lose track of everything else and if organisation was ever their strong point, it certainly won’t be now!

You can’t expect an 8 year old (or even a 15 year old) to think of writing a weekly ‘to do’ list, so it’s really up to parents to help them get into good habits early.

• Try not to fuss or draw too much negative attention to the fault. Be patient and give them a couple of chances, but don’t repeatedly bail them out. If they keep on forgetting homework, sports kit, lunch box etc, then let them take responsibility for it themselves. Its tough knowing your child will go hungry for a few hours, but he won’t die of starvation.
• Little post-it notes left in lunchboxes or next to the cereal bowl or toothbrush, are a great visual reminder.
• Discuss plans positively. Develop the habit of talking about what should be done instead of focusing on what has not been done.
  Develop routines and stick to them. Kids are comfortable with routines and these stick in their minds very quickly. They quickly learn that 9 pm is bedtime, Tuesday is swimming club night, or spellings have to be learnt on Wednesday for Thursday’s test; if these become a regular feature of the week.

Helping your child take responsibility will help you to become a calmer, more relaxed parent. And surely that’s better for all of you?

Purchasing toys for young children is a commonplace practice, so natural and innate that it is almost an instinct to surround a small child with toys. Whether it’s your own child you are buying the toys for or someone’s child you are gifting something to, the act of giving toys to children is an inherent part of society. It is something we do without giving our actions a second thought.

However, the role that these toys play in the child’s life and development goes far beyond the casual attitude most adults approach the same with and in this article we tell you how these toys and playthings are instrumental to a child’s development and growth.

The primary and simplest function served by any toy is to bring happiness to the child. By playing with a toy the child finds joy, amusement and contentment. Very small children are immediately taken in by the attractive colors and fancy shapes and bright appearance of the toys. Children are easily distracted so something like a toy stands out and catches their attention much more than an ordinary item around the house would. Keeping a young child happy and bubbly develops a sunny attitude and a sweeter disposition.

Once you move beyond the fun element of toys, there is the educational and learning function that many adults tend to overlook. Toys have been proven to be an effective tool for teaching children at different ages about different things. While having fun children can be taught a number of important concepts using toys as a medium.

When children are very young the color and shapes of the toys prove to be an introductory lesson to different colors and simple geometrical shapes. Toys like rattles and stuffed toys which also emit sounds are useful in teaching children how to distinguish between different kinds of sounds and noises. At this age children learn to use their sense organs to distinguish between different things.

As children grow older the role of the toys becomes more pronounced. Children have active imaginations and toys are often a good instrument for teaching children how to channel their creativity. Social skills such as sharing and respecting each other’s toys lead to a deep-rooted respect for people and their things on a larger level. Children also learn values of responsibility and duty when they see that they need to take care of their things. The lesson proves to be invaluable later in life.

For every parent the child’s health is the first priority and for this, preparing the right food and healthy balanced meals become a must. However, children as they grow up develop a propensity for junk food and crave tasty food so much so that healthy food soon comes to be associated as the complete opposite of tasty. As this mental association grows stronger many children eat junk food regularly which is very detrimental to health and also begin to avoid fruits, vegetables and pulses which further heightens chances of illness, poor stamina and weakened resistance against diseases. To be able to make sure that your children eat healthy it is important to develop the habit from an early age and inculcate an understanding in the kids about the importance of healthy eating.

One of the best tricks for preparing healthy meals for the kids lies in involving your kids in the preparation process. Ask them to wash the veggies or chop and peel and dice, or maybe help you stir while you do the bigger tasks. Give them something that is safe yet interesting and talk to them during the whole process. By involving your children in the actual cooking you will be encouraging them to take an interest in the entire act of planning, preparation and eating which will definitely increase their appreciation for the food.

While all parents know the foods which come under the category of healthy and unhealthy and how to prepare the appropriate dishes, what most parents are not aware about is that children place a lot of importance on the appearance of the dishes. It is important to cook healthy food that tastes good but most parents overlook the way the dish looks and how it is served, unaware that children often make up their minds based on whether or not the food looks good. Make some endeavor to make the meal look appetizing and you’ll be surprised at the result.

Meals like soups, chicken broths, roasts, stews and curries can be made to taste yummy by adding mushrooms, garlic, carrots, peas, potatoes and other such food items. The advantage of doing this is that along with improving the taste, aroma and sight of the food fantastically, such ingredients also add to the nutritional value of the meal- thus making it an overall success.

Toys are an essential component of a child’s developmental years. Not only do they form an important component of early education for the child, they are also highly prized and desirable objects for the child, who can often spend hours together in the company of his or her favourite toy. The importance of toys in a child’s life is thus underlined by the large amount of time that a child spends in physical and emotional contact with these. Therefore, while buying toys for children; two major aspects should be thoroughly looked at – the physical safety of the toy, and the emotional and cerebral impact of the toy on the child.

Talking about the physical safety of toys, it is important to look at the material, design and construction of the toy in question. Materials like cheap plastics, lead paints and brittle plastics should be avoided at all costs. The design of the toy should be age appropriate. That is to say that small components and parts should not be present in the toys of younger children. These obviously constitute a choking hazard, and the child tends to lose these small components quite easily, rendering the whole assembly worthless. Look out for allergies to synthetic fur used in stuffed toys. The construction of the toy should not have any sharp edges or vertices. These can hurt the child.

Children tend to put toys inside their mouth quite often, so if your child is below approximately six years of age, avoid buying toys like putty, clay and paints unless you are absolutely able to supervise playtime. The educational aspect of any toy is perhaps even more important than the physical aspect. It is a proven fact that children learn through play, and also gather information about things as mundane as touch, smell and taste to more complex aspects like social expectations, gender roles as well as natural instincts. Do not force your male child to discard playing with dolls if he likes to play with them. Also, it is advisable to look out for features that can be counter productive to a child’s development. These include spelling mistakes on board games, utilization of retrograde and antisocial language and/or violent components.

Look out for the age specifications given on the toy by the manufacturer. Most importantly, do keep your child’s interests in mind.

As a mom myself, I have experienced my child’s anxiety and fear when she needs to go back to school after a long holiday.  However, I also discovered from other parents that my child is not alone as other kids are also showing the same reaction. Thus, when I received an email on the  Six Tools to Relieve Your Child’s “Back-to-School-itis”, I just had to share it with you all. This article is posted with the permission of the original writer,  Charlotte Reznick PhD.

For some kids, going back to school at the end of summer can be traumatic. Anticipating a new teacher, classmates, grade, or school can trigger fear, anxiety, and depression–not to mention very real physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, and insomnia.

Fortunately, your child has a whole toolbox to draw from–in her own imagination. Here are six imagination tools parents can use with young children to relieve “back-to-school-itis.”

Teach her to balloon breathe. With her hands around her navel, have her breathe slowly and deeply into her lower belly so it presses into her hands like an inflating balloon. The Balloon Breath has dramatic calming effects and facilitates a waking state of focused concentration and receptivity to positive suggestions. This one tool makes all the other ones easier.

Visit his special place. This is a safe private place within your child’s inner world where he can work out problems or take a mini-vacation from stress and worry. He can invite a wise Animal Friend into his special place to talk to and help him, or he can even dig for a treasure box there that contains the antidote to his fear.

Draw the fear. Putting an image on paper: (1) makes her fear of separation realer and less frightening than keeping it inside, and (2) makes her fear less likely to grow because there is a concrete picture to work with. Once she has a picture, she can talk to it, find out why it’s trying to scare her, strike a bargain with it, surround it with a soothing color bubble, and so on.

Talk to his symptom. When a child suffers from a worry headache or stomachache, these three questions can help eliminate the pain. Have him do deep balloon breathing (diaphragmatic breathing), then ask: (1) What color is it? (2) What shape is it? (3) How heavy is it? After more breaths, ask him again. Continue to breathe and question in rounds. His pain will likely change or disappear. If it doesn’t completely go away, ask the ache what it wants him to know, do, or understand to release any more bits of pain.

Picture the future. Artwork is also an effective starting point when you’re working with clear end-goals, like getting a good night’s sleep or reducing a fear. Have your child draw two drawings–how things are now and how she’d like them to be. Hang the picture in her bedroom; this is a great reminder of her desired goal and the first step toward getting there.

Encourage drama. For kids whose nature tends toward drama, acting out their worries and troubles is a wonderful way to release them. Let them play it out–with puppets, with their bodies, with anything their imagination suggests. It’s amazing what creative solutions come up when given free reign.

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Charlotte Reznick is a child educational psychologist, an associate clinical professor of psychology at UCLA, and author of a new book, The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success (Perigee, 2009, $14.95).

www.ImageryForKids.com