It is always useful for children to be organized – completing homework assignments on time, making sure that they have the sports kit ready for the next day, there are many reasons to encourage them whilst they are young.

Children learn the most when they are young, even before they start to attend school.  It is even a case of teaching them to put things away when they have finished playing with them. Once they know that certain things need to be ready for specific times and they learn this from an early age, as they become older it will become second nature.

Being organized can start with, before they go to bed, putting out their clothes for the next day.  Even at age three they will be able to manage – with a little help – to dress themselves, particularly if everything is laid out in the order in which they put the clothes on.  Don’t expect them to fasten buttons on their own at this age, and they may struggle with socks.  Nevertheless it makes a start and they will get better.

Learning to clean their teeth is another skill which will need a little supervision.  It is good to ask them in the morning and evening what they need to remember – to clean teeth.  If you say it often enough then when they are able to manage on their own, this is something else which will have been achieved.

The main problem when it comes to children being organized is with homework.  Even in first schools they are given a little reading to do with mum or dad and some letters to practice printing.  As they become older and start junior school there will be more homework, but the child needs to be taught that they need to organize their own homework timetable.  

There really shouldn’t be any reason for a child to become bored; however we all know that sometimes it is said – usually when the parent has something they specifically need to do!

A child shouldn’t be left with computer games to play for hour after hour.  These should be limited to short periods in any day. 

If possible try to take children out during school holidays.  Depending on the age of the child regular trips should help to keep any child amused, particularly if you ask them to do some research before the trips.

Younger children become bored when left to their own device, so during time at home it is useful if you can spend time with them.  Have some treats handy which can be brought out when necessary.  These don’t need to be expensive.  A sticker book, coloring books and crayons are still favorites for younger children.  Painting, although it can become messy, is something particularly popular, and on a fine day can be taken into the garden.

Planning a picnic in the garden is another good idea, and children who would normally turn their nose up at sandwiches will suddenly become enthusiastic when sitting on a rug in the back garden.

Another really good idea is by crafting items, papier mache is simply torn up paper which is stuck over an item, even a balloon (but be gentle) and wallpaper paste is then messily daubed over the paper.  This can provide hours of fun, and once the children get the hang of it they may be able to move on to creating masks!

Another crafty idea is to make birthday cards for friends.  Simply by spending a few pounds on a basic children’s craft kit will provide hours of fun over several weeks.  Join in with them – you may even enjoy it!

Birthdays and their associated parties seem to be coming round every few weeks for our children or our various relatives and friends. The simplest way to deal with any upcoming party which needs to be organized is to plan carefully.

Always make a checklist of everything which needs to be done and then allocate a note of how long you think that that each item may take to do. Do remember that everything always takes about twice as long as expected.

Careful planning beforehand prevents any problems happening at the last minute. Delegate as many items from the list as possible, and then get the people to confirm back to you that they know which items they are doing (you don’t want to end up with two people duplicating the same things) – it has been known to happen!

Depending on the age of the birthday boy or girl there are venues which, for those parents who are short of time, but have a little extra money, will organize the whole party for you. They will suggest a theme and once that is agreed, they will arrange it from start to finish. Particularly successful for children above about eight years, are circus skills parties, and pampering parties are favored for girls aged approximately ten and over. Both girls and boys enjoy the outdoor assault courses, and adventure parties with kayaking etc.

If you are throwing the birthday party at home, don’t worry, with other friends helping to arrange food – via an outside caterer which isn’t too expensive, the main thing left to be sorted is the party favor bags which now appear to be compulsory. Place the same items in every bag apart from one small gift specific to each child.
In this way all parties should be able to be arranged without any problem.

The list is virtually endless when it comes to adolescent or the ‘tween years’ behavior problems. If a parent thought the ‘terrible twos’ were difficult, stand by, you ‘aint’ seen nothing yet! The difference is that the two year old is trying to exert individuality and self awareness, but where adolescent behavior problems may indicate a much deeper problem.

These teens are experiencing a huge amount of growth in every way. This includes physical changes, emotional changes and changes in moral attitudes and beliefs. The confusion can be very disturbing for this age child and it will manifest itself in true behavioral problems. As the teen begins to develop their own ideals and beliefs, it will often bring rise to periods of huge conflict between them and their parents. The teen is trying to break out and begin to determine exactly who he is and how he is different or what makes him a distinct individual.

Try to keep the line of communication open. Remember when it happened to you and what you would have liked from your parents. Help them to understand that what is going on with their bodies and their minds is normal. Help them to understand that they are starting to feel different mood changes such as sadness and that you will always be there to listen to them no matter what they are feeling inside.

This age group will constantly be pushing their parent’s buttons so to choose your battles with care. The tests will come fast and furiously from your teen and if you battle them at every crossroads, for instance you don’t like their clothes choices but you can live with it. However, you will have to set expectations, rules and guidelines when it comes to sex, drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Look at what truly matters and determine what thing deserves upheaval.

One thing that will embarrass us most as parents is to be out in public and hear our little angel cursing. The first thought that comes to mind is ‘where on earth did he/she learn that’? Parents often let a curse word slip when angry, the television offers a plethora of curse words and people outside the home often use foul language in public because they simple do not care about who hears them or what impact it has on ‘little ears’.

If a child uses a curse word, the parent has to remain calm and not allow the child to know they can elicit a response from people, mostly their parents, if they blurt one out. Remaining calm and exhibiting no response will show the child it really is not a big deal so why bother with it. The biggest reward a child can get when they curse is to have someone laugh at them or give them the attention they are seeking.

Do not expect any behavior from your child that you are not willing to enforce on yourself. Do not use the words in your home and your child will most likely follow your behavior. Children do not make these words up on their own accord. Someone somewhere had to model the words for them.

Some parents will use a positive reinforcement plan which will result in a positive consequence when cursing is not used. Perhaps there is something the child would like to do and if no cursing has been used, they will be rewarded with this activity. Some parents will use negative consequences only and let the child know under no circumstances will this behavior be allowed at anytime and if they do it there will be immediate punishment.

When one child is an underachiever, it seems that the child has absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything. The truth is they are truly motivated to do absolutely nothing. It is a hidden expectation and no matter what happens, no matter how hard this child tries, they will never achieve what is expected of them. So, it sets them up to follow the prescribed path of being an underachiever.

In a way, these kids are highly motivated to resist whatever is expected of them and therefore fail. Somewhere, somehow they have received the message that they are not worthy of achieving and when they don’t, they can then say, you are right, I am not any good.

So what can be done to change your child from putting all their energy into absolutely nothing and shifting it into something that accentuates their abilities? Does your child use the phrase ‘I don’t care’ on a regular basis? This is an excellent tool for them to fool themselves into believing that nothing really matters anyway. It has a way of taking any pressure off of them to take action in a positive and productive manner.

Do not allow your child to have a plethora of things in their room where they can ‘hang out’ by themselves. Begin to make this child accountable for his/her actions or lack of action. Make them earn their ‘toys’ by being productive and then follow the productivity with rewards and positive reinforcement. Continue to shift the ‘it does not matter’ feeling to ‘everything you do matters’. It will never happen overnight, but it will allow the child to test the waters and try to achieve without fear of failure. Coach your child and allow them to feel what achieving feels like and that even the fear of accomplishment can be overcome. Listen to the child as he states his fears by what he says and how he acts.

Social networking has become an important part of everyday life to many adults. It has also won popularity with children of all ages. Although Facebook restricts sign up to 13 years or older, they cannot police the site, nor can they check the kids legal ages. This opens the door for many potential problems.

Parents have expressed concern over who their kids ‘friend’ with on their Facebook page. If the parents aren’t ‘friends’ themselves there is no way of determining whether a ‘friend’ is appropriate or not. It is also very difficult to monitor the conversations that the kids are having with their ‘friends’.

Many parents like me are concerned about our children being targeted by unsavoury characters such as paedophiles and their lives being endangered by having encounters with such personalities. It has happened that children arrange secret meetings with people – so that the parents can’t interfere – and end up kidnapped, molested or worse. It is therefore not a safe practice to allow your kids uncensored access to sites like Facebook.

If you, as a parent, don’t feel happy about your kid’s participation in Facebook, talk to them and prevent further involvement with the site. Alternative insist that Facebook is only accessed with parental supervision. That way you can monitor who your child is associating with and what they are talking about. Also restrict the amount of time that they can spend on Facebook.

Social networking has its advantages for adults, but needs to be strictly monitored for children.

As one of  Dove Movement’s Champions, I thought it was appropriate to share my thoughts with all of you to encourage you to support this movement.

 A child’s self esteem is a fragile thing and to damage it could cause untold problems for the remainder of the child’s life. It is said that if you tell a child how special she is, she will grow up with the confidence to face anything, but tell her she’s a failure, and she will become one. Being openly critical of your children can therefore prophecy their future, so building a child’s self esteem starts within the family.

Young children believe what adults tell them, but they are very good at detecting insincerity, so it’s important, if you want your child to believe in your praise, that you believe in it yourself. Girls in particular are extremely sensitive to criticisms about their appearance. By acknowledging her feelings and allowing her to express herself, you can reassure her and help her to overcome a negative self-image.

It is important to teach children that self confidence is more important than superficial appearances. Teach them to feel good inside and this will translate to what they feel on the outside. By feeling good about themselves, they will be more inclined to believe they look good. Creating inner confidence is therefore the key to boosting a child’s self esteem.

This can be achieved by reassurance and praise. Notice all achievements, however small, and praise these to encourage future successes. If their clothes or hair look nice, focus on these rather than directly on their looks. In particular, praise kind thoughts and actions. Remind them regularly about the importance of self-belief and inner beauty. People who believe in themselves can make the world believe in them also.

It is especially important, in this media-driven age, for young girls to understand that everyone’s body is different and unique and that individuality is a good thing. They need to know that television merely re-presents someone’s ideas – which are not necessarily the truth. Explain about the photographic tools used by magazines to enhance appearances of models to present a beautified image.

Being a positive role model to your child will go a great way to improving her self esteem. It is simply a case of practising what you preach, so avoid being hard or negative about yourself. Gently redirect any negative or inaccurate perceptions as soon as you are aware of them and your child’s self esteem will develop naturally, enabling her to lead a happy and fulfilling life.

At Dove Movement, we’re helping to create a world where every woman and girl has the confidence to reach her full potential. Will you help us? Join the movement and share positive self-esteem at dovemovement.com.