We get used to our parents, or even ourselves being absent-minded. We put it down to age, preoccupation with more important matters or simply having too much to do. But when our kids start showing signs of being absent-minded, we start to get frustrated with them and think they are doing it on purpose. In fact we turn into the nasty duchess from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ who claimed:

“He only does it to annoy”

“Because he knows it teases”

Forgetfulness is not just a condition that afflicts seniors. Once children start school and their lives become crowded with school issues and rules, homework and friends, they just lose track of everything else and if organisation was ever their strong point, it certainly won’t be now!

You can’t expect an 8 year old (or even a 15 year old) to think of writing a weekly ‘to do’ list, so it’s really up to parents to help them get into good habits early.

• Try not to fuss or draw too much negative attention to the fault. Be patient and give them a couple of chances, but don’t repeatedly bail them out. If they keep on forgetting homework, sports kit, lunch box etc, then let them take responsibility for it themselves. Its tough knowing your child will go hungry for a few hours, but he won’t die of starvation.
• Little post-it notes left in lunchboxes or next to the cereal bowl or toothbrush, are a great visual reminder.
• Discuss plans positively. Develop the habit of talking about what should be done instead of focusing on what has not been done.
  Develop routines and stick to them. Kids are comfortable with routines and these stick in their minds very quickly. They quickly learn that 9 pm is bedtime, Tuesday is swimming club night, or spellings have to be learnt on Wednesday for Thursday’s test; if these become a regular feature of the week.

Helping your child take responsibility will help you to become a calmer, more relaxed parent. And surely that’s better for all of you?