It is always useful for children to be organized – completing homework assignments on time, making sure that they have the sports kit ready for the next day, there are many reasons to encourage them whilst they are young.

Children learn the most when they are young, even before they start to attend school.  It is even a case of teaching them to put things away when they have finished playing with them. Once they know that certain things need to be ready for specific times and they learn this from an early age, as they become older it will become second nature.

Being organized can start with, before they go to bed, putting out their clothes for the next day.  Even at age three they will be able to manage – with a little help – to dress themselves, particularly if everything is laid out in the order in which they put the clothes on.  Don’t expect them to fasten buttons on their own at this age, and they may struggle with socks.  Nevertheless it makes a start and they will get better.

Learning to clean their teeth is another skill which will need a little supervision.  It is good to ask them in the morning and evening what they need to remember – to clean teeth.  If you say it often enough then when they are able to manage on their own, this is something else which will have been achieved.

The main problem when it comes to children being organized is with homework.  Even in first schools they are given a little reading to do with mum or dad and some letters to practice printing.  As they become older and start junior school there will be more homework, but the child needs to be taught that they need to organize their own homework timetable.  

Birthdays and their associated parties seem to be coming round every few weeks for our children or our various relatives and friends. The simplest way to deal with any upcoming party which needs to be organized is to plan carefully.

Always make a checklist of everything which needs to be done and then allocate a note of how long you think that that each item may take to do. Do remember that everything always takes about twice as long as expected.

Careful planning beforehand prevents any problems happening at the last minute. Delegate as many items from the list as possible, and then get the people to confirm back to you that they know which items they are doing (you don’t want to end up with two people duplicating the same things) – it has been known to happen!

Depending on the age of the birthday boy or girl there are venues which, for those parents who are short of time, but have a little extra money, will organize the whole party for you. They will suggest a theme and once that is agreed, they will arrange it from start to finish. Particularly successful for children above about eight years, are circus skills parties, and pampering parties are favored for girls aged approximately ten and over. Both girls and boys enjoy the outdoor assault courses, and adventure parties with kayaking etc.

If you are throwing the birthday party at home, don’t worry, with other friends helping to arrange food – via an outside caterer which isn’t too expensive, the main thing left to be sorted is the party favor bags which now appear to be compulsory. Place the same items in every bag apart from one small gift specific to each child.
In this way all parties should be able to be arranged without any problem.

One thing that will embarrass us most as parents is to be out in public and hear our little angel cursing. The first thought that comes to mind is ‘where on earth did he/she learn that’? Parents often let a curse word slip when angry, the television offers a plethora of curse words and people outside the home often use foul language in public because they simple do not care about who hears them or what impact it has on ‘little ears’.

If a child uses a curse word, the parent has to remain calm and not allow the child to know they can elicit a response from people, mostly their parents, if they blurt one out. Remaining calm and exhibiting no response will show the child it really is not a big deal so why bother with it. The biggest reward a child can get when they curse is to have someone laugh at them or give them the attention they are seeking.

Do not expect any behavior from your child that you are not willing to enforce on yourself. Do not use the words in your home and your child will most likely follow your behavior. Children do not make these words up on their own accord. Someone somewhere had to model the words for them.

Some parents will use a positive reinforcement plan which will result in a positive consequence when cursing is not used. Perhaps there is something the child would like to do and if no cursing has been used, they will be rewarded with this activity. Some parents will use negative consequences only and let the child know under no circumstances will this behavior be allowed at anytime and if they do it there will be immediate punishment.

When one child is an underachiever, it seems that the child has absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything. The truth is they are truly motivated to do absolutely nothing. It is a hidden expectation and no matter what happens, no matter how hard this child tries, they will never achieve what is expected of them. So, it sets them up to follow the prescribed path of being an underachiever.

In a way, these kids are highly motivated to resist whatever is expected of them and therefore fail. Somewhere, somehow they have received the message that they are not worthy of achieving and when they don’t, they can then say, you are right, I am not any good.

So what can be done to change your child from putting all their energy into absolutely nothing and shifting it into something that accentuates their abilities? Does your child use the phrase ‘I don’t care’ on a regular basis? This is an excellent tool for them to fool themselves into believing that nothing really matters anyway. It has a way of taking any pressure off of them to take action in a positive and productive manner.

Do not allow your child to have a plethora of things in their room where they can ‘hang out’ by themselves. Begin to make this child accountable for his/her actions or lack of action. Make them earn their ‘toys’ by being productive and then follow the productivity with rewards and positive reinforcement. Continue to shift the ‘it does not matter’ feeling to ‘everything you do matters’. It will never happen overnight, but it will allow the child to test the waters and try to achieve without fear of failure. Coach your child and allow them to feel what achieving feels like and that even the fear of accomplishment can be overcome. Listen to the child as he states his fears by what he says and how he acts.