As a baby grows into new stages, he or she begins to test the waters on individuality and power.  The need to make certain the world continues to revolve solely around their wants becomes overwhelmingly important and if those wants are not recognized they will use their temper to make certain they will be. Often times the child does not have the capacity to verbalize what is wanted and the frustration that is created causes them to use what they do know and that would be to use their motor skills to ‘throw a tantrum’. If the tantrum is not born from frustration, believe it is purely born from manipulation. ‘I want it and I want it NOW’. Sounds familiar?

Once a child is born to you, things look a little bit differently in many ways.  This child, the one you brought into the world knows it is incumbent on him to push as many of your buttons as humanly possible.   So, it is going to depend solely on your reaction to his button pushing. Unfortunately, this will tap into how you were raised, how your parents were raised and so on.  We all have the capacity to cope with stress and ‘button pushing’ but when it gets too arduous for us, we regrettably fall back into learned behaviors ourselves. If our Mother was a screamer and quite volatile then when we react to our own child’s tantrum’s we might possible react in the same manner.  The child will be ecstatic to generate an explosion from you and get you into a screaming match with him. 

Ultimately, the parent will have to take control by shutting down the tantrum ‘tool’ and showing the child verbally and by using body language to make the statement ‘manipulation tantrums will not be allowed’.   It is important for the parent to teach the child what is acceptable and what is not.  It is all part of many, many years of discipline training. 

In the past few decades attacks on women and girls have escalated to an alarming number. Attacks in parking lots, deserted roads, at school and even at home have become almost the norm. Prosecuting assailants is also very difficult due to a lack of evidence or the victim being intimidated so much that she withdraws her charges.

It is therefore essential that women – and specifically girls – learn how to protect themselves. There are a myriad of ways that girls can prevent attacks but, more importantly, there are many things they can do when an attack is inevitable.

Learning self defence has a number of advantages. The first advantage is that it teaches the girl how to defend herself when under attack. It teaches her the skill to remain as calm as possible and think about what her options are and how to maximise any advantages that she may have. Being able to protect yourself, also leads to a higher sense of confidence in one’s own abilities which, in turn, leads to higher self esteem. The most important aspect of self defence is that the girl can leave an attack virtually unharmed.

When a girl knows how to handle herself in threatening situations, her parents can also feel more relaxed about her health and safety when she goes out for a party, on a date or late-night work. Self defence knowledge will take a lot of stress out of these situations and she can still enjoy life – safely.

As one of  Dove Movement’s Champions, I thought it was appropriate to share my thoughts with all of you to encourage you to support this movement.

 A child’s self esteem is a fragile thing and to damage it could cause untold problems for the remainder of the child’s life. It is said that if you tell a child how special she is, she will grow up with the confidence to face anything, but tell her she’s a failure, and she will become one. Being openly critical of your children can therefore prophecy their future, so building a child’s self esteem starts within the family.

Young children believe what adults tell them, but they are very good at detecting insincerity, so it’s important, if you want your child to believe in your praise, that you believe in it yourself. Girls in particular are extremely sensitive to criticisms about their appearance. By acknowledging her feelings and allowing her to express herself, you can reassure her and help her to overcome a negative self-image.

It is important to teach children that self confidence is more important than superficial appearances. Teach them to feel good inside and this will translate to what they feel on the outside. By feeling good about themselves, they will be more inclined to believe they look good. Creating inner confidence is therefore the key to boosting a child’s self esteem.

This can be achieved by reassurance and praise. Notice all achievements, however small, and praise these to encourage future successes. If their clothes or hair look nice, focus on these rather than directly on their looks. In particular, praise kind thoughts and actions. Remind them regularly about the importance of self-belief and inner beauty. People who believe in themselves can make the world believe in them also.

It is especially important, in this media-driven age, for young girls to understand that everyone’s body is different and unique and that individuality is a good thing. They need to know that television merely re-presents someone’s ideas – which are not necessarily the truth. Explain about the photographic tools used by magazines to enhance appearances of models to present a beautified image.

Being a positive role model to your child will go a great way to improving her self esteem. It is simply a case of practising what you preach, so avoid being hard or negative about yourself. Gently redirect any negative or inaccurate perceptions as soon as you are aware of them and your child’s self esteem will develop naturally, enabling her to lead a happy and fulfilling life.

At Dove Movement, we’re helping to create a world where every woman and girl has the confidence to reach her full potential. Will you help us? Join the movement and share positive self-esteem at dovemovement.com.

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Saying Online?

Like any other parents, I’m very cautious when I let my kids go online. You never know what kind of paedophiles or cyber bullies out there who are waiting to prey on our innocent kids. While I always feel one can never be too careful, we also cannot deprive our kids from learning through the internet.

Here’s some useful information that I would like to share with some of you parents. TrueCare, a provider of a comprehensive Internet monitoring service for parents, has announced the availability of a new eBook titled “IDK (I don’t know) What My Kids Are Saying Online”. The best thing about it is, it’s FREE for download. The book  includes some of the most commonly used online abbreviations used by kids when they instant message, email or chat online using social networking websites. But be warned, some of the abbreviations are not for children. The ebook includes a number of abbreviations that may be warning signs that your kids are chatting with strangers or engaging in dangerous online behavior.

“Parents have a responsibility to know what their children are doing and  saying online,” said David Barker, spokesperson for TrueCare.net. “At TrueCare, our primary concern is keeping children safe from the dangers of online social networking. We’ve released I Don’t Know What My Kids Are Saying Online because we want to give parents easy access to this ever-changing language, so they can decode what their kids are saying to their friends.” Parents can download a copy of this free eBook at: www.truecare.net/idk. I suggest you download the ebook and evaluate for yourself how useful the information can be.

About TrueCare

TrueCare developed this best-of-breed service, in conjunction with parents as a way to effectively monitor their child’s online social networking activity without invading their child’s privacy. TrueCare helps parents identify potential online dangers and keep an open dialog with their children about their online safety. For more information please contact TrueCare at 1-877-368-6390 or visit them online at www.truecare.net.

Deciding to home school your children can be a great decision, but you should be warned from the beginning that this is no easy option. If you do decide that homeschooling is something you would like to try then be prepared for a lot of work and huge demands on your time. If you are not certain that you can make such a commitment you would probably be best forgetting all about it. If you are certain though, this will be a rewarding experience for both you and your children.

Here we will now look at homeschooling and its benefits.

• Homeschooling insures that your children get the attention they need. A teacher will have many demands on their time, and some kids will demand more time than others. It is often not the children who really need the attention who get it; as the saying goes, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. With homeschooling you can be sure that your kids are the central focus.
• When children attend school they have to fit in with what classroom; this often means that they are bored out of their minds or completely lost. With homeschooling you can fit the curriculum completely around your child’s needs.
• With homeschooling education stops being something that is done between nine and four Monday to Friday. Learning just becomes part of life and everything can be a useful lesson. This is a great attitude for any child to take into the world.
• Providing homeschooling really demonstrates to them how much you value them. Some parents seem to see school as a type of babysitting service, and don’t show too much interest in what happens there. With homeschooling you are showing your children how much you value their education and consequently how much you value them – this can be a great boost to their self-confidence and self-worth.
• With homeschooling you can control the curriculum to some extent. You may have values or beliefs that would not be respected enough in a traditional school system and homeschooling means that you can remedy this situation.
• You can also ensure that your children are following the most effective syllabus and use the most up-to-date books.

Above are just some of the reasons why you might want to choose homeschooling for your children. Just remember thought that along with homeschooling and its benefits there are also some disadvantages as well.

Whether they are infants, toddlers, teens or just-about-adult, decorating your kid’s bedroom can either be a creative expression of your love, or a source of self-doubting despair. The decisions are endless – as are the costs – and the demand for the perfect bedroom is implacable.

Where to start slaying this beast?

The first step is to decide what the budget for this project is going to be – and promise yourself that you will stay within that budget. Next you need to decide whether you (and your child / children) are going to go with the traditional pink for girls and blue for boy’s colour schemes, or are you a progressive parent that allows other colours into the scheme as well. Will this decision be influenced by the theme of the room? Of course, if it’s a Barbie theme pink will be very appropriate. Then again, a cars (or Cars – the Disney version) will allow for multiple colours, including blue and red.

The theme is also very important. Not only does it help determine the colour scheme, it also needs to be age appropriate to prevent your child seeing monsters under the bed or in the closet. There is also evidence that certain themes stimulate brain activity and others depress the child’s development.

Do some research on the internet to find the most appropriate (and affordable) supplier of the bed, dressing table, wardrobe etc. that suits your theme.

A fun thing to do together is to paint the room together as a family, or let your child paint his / her own pictures on the walls to give it a customized look.

All-in-all, decorating your kid’s bedroom should allow for the child to feel safe, treasured and allow him / her to be able to express themselves.

A baby shower for a family member or a friend is a time to get together and celebrate the impending birth of a new baby. Throwing a baby shower for someone can be challenging. Finding new ways to celebrate the impending birth of a baby and do something that has not been done before over and over is one of the challenges that you will have when you are planning a fun baby shower.

The first area where you can get creative is the décor for the room. You don’t have to stick with the traditional items emblazoned with storks, baby bottles and booties. Consider creating a chic and trendy atmosphere in the décor that is just for mum. Start with the table setting and choose elegant items and flowers that celebrate the femininity of the special mum-to-be. The shower is about the baby, of course, but it can also be a celebration of the mum and her special style and taste.

If mum loves high fashion then incorporate that in your theme. Cakes designed to look like handbags and decorations that focus on fashions are fun ways to celebrate a baby shower that the mum to be will love.

A garden tea party is a classic party idea for a baby shower. Decorate the tables with gorgeous flower arrangements and even plan the party for an outdoor location. A garden party is a lovely idea for a baby shower. Outdoor settings can be quite beautiful if there are plenty of fresh flowers in bloom. This idea is a perfect choice for a spring or summer baby shower.

An elegant dinner is also a unique way to celebrate a baby shower. Most showers are afternoon affairs, but you can choose to celebrate in the evening. Request that everyone dress up in formal attire for a baby shower that mum will never forget.